Listen to article
Colette already stated in the early twentieth century that “those pleasures that are lightly called physical.” Today, more or less liberated, women are redrawing the map of their bodies, a territory coveted and controlled by men and patriarchal society. They want to reclaim their confiscated and obscured asset, as much by theories, religion, and prejudices as by pornographic works. Psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, and sexologist Dr. Céline Causse, author of several reference works, gave an engrossing interview to This is Beirut about her almost exhaustive book, La sexualité féminine dans tous ses ébats (Feminine Sexuality in All Its Frolics), published by Fayard Editions.
In your book, you mentioned that in 1844, the German anatomist George Ludwig Kobelt was the first to highlight the exclusive role of the clitoris in pleasure, thus dethroning the vagina. You also say, “A woman’s sexual pleasure is much more in the head than in the vagina.” Is talking about vaginal pleasure an aberration?
There are no pleasure receptors in the vagina, nor are there pain receptors. What gives women pleasure during copulation is the stimulation of the clitoris, especially its internal branches located around the vagina. However, women feel immense pleasure in penetration because this pleasure is psychological and involves union, the merging of bodies, and completeness. What is stubbornly shown in pornographic films and described in certain books does not correspond to the reality of female pleasure.
There is no physiological basis for vaginal pleasure per se. Pornography has, regrettably, convinced far too many men that rapid back-and-forth movements trigger women’s pleasure. Although most women do not reach orgasm through penetration, they can experience it if they combine it with external clitoral stimulation, using their fingers or through rubbing. To elaborate further, a woman in the top position will rather make rocking movements of the pelvis forward and backward, rubbing the clitoris against her partner’s body and stimulating the clitoris located at the junction at the entrance of the vagina between the branches of the clitoris (the spongy bodies, the cavernous bodies, and what is called the G-spot). She can also contract her pelvic floor muscles. The body of the clitoris is covered by the pelvic floor muscles, the bulbocavernosus, and the ischiopubic muscles. When these muscles are contracted, there is pressure on the spongy and cavernous bodies, which stimulates the pleasure receptors.
It is said that female sexuality has always been obscured. Does this refer to the importance of the clitoris being obscured in favor of copulation for the perpetuation of the couple and procreation?
Yes, it means that women’s pleasure is completely sidelined to emphasize their reproductive function. In the past, it was frowned upon for a woman to enjoy the bed. The wife was there to produce children. To have fun, men visited prostitutes. It was not until the 1960s and 1970s, with women’s demands for sexual pleasure and control over their bodies, that things changed. However, women did not talk about the clitoris, let alone its significant internal volume. This changed in 1998, thanks to Australian urologist Helen OConnell, who revealed its anatomy. Today, moreover, it is the other side of the coin: men suffer from pressures challenging them to make women orgasm.
Yet, when they practice masturbation at the onset of their sexual awakening, young girls discover the importance of the clitoris. Why do they agree to obscure their sexuality during intercourse with a man or after marriage?
Firstly, men practice solitary pleasure much more than women. But the number of women who masturbate is increasing. It should be noted that these women who stimulate the external side of the clitoris almost never combine it with internal vaginal stimulation. But as soon as they meet a man, they forget their own pleasure to protect the man’s virility and to tell him in a way: You will succeed in giving me pleasure with your male organ alone, and I don’t care about stroking my clitoris, just for you. It is ingrained in the mentality of both men and women that it is the man’s penis that is responsible for female pleasure.
Would a woman’s frankness in this regard risk destabilizing the man?
Men are not really aware of how their own sexuality works. Many still believe that their sexuality is purely mechanical. It is astonishing, the number of comments from men on my book on male sexuality who were unaware that their sexuality was as complex and dependent on the brain as female sexuality. A man without an erection is not a man without sexual desire. For women, it is like this: If he does not have an erection with her, it means he does not desire her. Women protect men’s narcissism, signaling to them that they are capable of giving a lot of pleasure, and that’s why we see increasing rates of faking orgasms, both in women and men.
As if you were implying that ejaculation is not a sign of orgasm?
Yes, ejaculation is not synonymous with orgasm at all. Often, men don’t disclose this because many are unaware. However, when asked directly, they agree. Moreover, these are two completely separate neuronal mechanisms. In male sexuality as well, there is a lack of communication and many taboos. If both partners could overcome preconceived notions and express their feelings, likes, and dislikes, things would be much simpler.
Sexuality, to achieve pleasure, requires work. What is natural is reproductive sexuality. But if anyone should resent Freud for something, it is women. He explained female libido and unconsciousness based on the male perspective, denying women any possibility of leaving a distinct imprint on culture. In other words, although she is biologically a woman, she is culturally a man.
I am a psychoanalyst myself, and I believe that Freud’s theories on sexuality are completely outdated. While he deserves credit for openly discussing sexuality in a very puritanical context, his interest wasn’t in sexual pleasure. In his personal life, he quickly set sexuality aside. He was only interested in complexes, neuroses, disturbances, and inhibitions related to pleasure, which is not quite the same thing. Psychoanalysis is a journey, a fascinating adventure. I underwent psychoanalysis myself. It changed my relationship with life, the world, and pleasure in general by allowing me to overcome some defenses, but it does not cure anxiety or anguish. There was a belief in a therapeutic method to achieve happiness, but that is a tall order.
How can asexuality be explained in light of Freud’s legacy?
From the perspective of Freud’s libido theory, individuals who do not feel sexual desire for others channel their psychic energy (since libido is not only sexual) toward other areas such as emotional relationships or art. Thankfully, one does not have to maintain sexual relationships throughout life to feel good about oneself, as evident from Ovidie’s book “La chair est triste, hélas,” where she narrates her years of sexual hiatus. One can have a rich life and great energy without sexuality. Sexual pleasure is not a mandatory condition for fulfillment. Asexuality is a recent phenomenon, and making psychological and physiological statements about it requires utmost caution. There might be an evolution, a waning of sexuality in the years to come. Sexuality has almost become a dictum, with mandates of pleasure for both women and men, causing pressure and erection issues in young men.
Is the G-spot a myth? Or is it difficult to locate the point, the conquest of which resembles a treasure hunt on an island?
Anatomically, we see a highly vascularized and innervated area in the external wall of the vagina, where the different branches of the clitoris, spongy, and cavernous bodies intersect. Studies, including ultrasounds conducted by French doctors, showed that during sexual intercourse, the clitoris adheres to the vaginal wall, and this intersection, as mentioned, aligns with the G-spot. How to recognize its location? It gives a false urge to urinate because the urethra, which is the canal extending from the bladder to the outside, is being stimulated. Evidently, this is a false urge, and it indicates that the right spot has been found, hence, the stimulation should continue. The G-spot is an internal part of the clitoris.
Today, we witness the excesses of sexual liberation, such as the excessive display of homosexual relationships and the promotion of throuples within the framework of polyamory, for instance.
We are seeing a complete redefinition of the concept of a couple, accompanied by greater freedom. On one hand, women have become independent and, broadly speaking, no longer need to commit to a man for financial or emotional stability. On the other hand, we are witnessing the coexistence of two extremes at this moment. There are monogamous couples, polygamous couples, and closed partnerships that hold onto fidelity as the central tenet of their relationship. Moreover, being in love with two others has existed since time immemorial. Men granted themselves this privilege, while women accepted the dictates of a patriarchal society. For instance, in the novel “Lady Chatterley’s Lover,” the woman falls in love with her lover while loving her husband, forming an unspoken throuple. A three-way relationship is, fantastically, a bearer of desire. Many men love their wives but maintain a mistress who crystallizes their desires. Philosopher Robert Misrahi addresses this in his book “The Erotics of Happiness.” Despite being married to a psychoanalyst, he sustained relationships with other women simultaneously.
When the partners each represent an ideal, it is understandable. For instance, having platonic love for one person while sexually desiring another, as seen with Baudelaire with Jeanne Duval, his erotic muse, and Madame Sabatier, the idealized woman. But when there are no barriers between partners within polyamory, everyone loves and desires everyone! I remember the example of a betrayed woman falling in love with her rival and accepting a three-way relationship to keep her husband, based on a testimony on French television.
Throuples are extremely rare. Polyamory is very complicated due to jealousy. Even a two-person relationship demands a lot of energy and time! Indeed, many men find it difficult to continue desiring their wives once they become mothers. In psychoanalysis, this has been studied under the Madonna-whore complex. The wife is the mother of beloved children, the provider of security, and the keeper of the home—a figure they idealize, possibly to the extent of seeking a mistress whom they can psychologically desire as a sexual object. On the other hand, a married woman who takes a lover will often fall in love with him, and much more frequently than men, she will leave her husband for her lover. That said, the younger generation in Europe thinks differently than us. Young people are much more relaxed, and it remains to be seen what this will yield. Moreover, people are marrying less and less.
